The Moon After Some Honey Was Licked Off

The moon shone bright in the dark desert sky as I scurried across campus to maternity. The nurse had called me for a lady at term with abdominal pain. The nurse could not hear the fetal heart sounds. Our handheld fetal Doppler’s have all been broken for the last two months. So the nurses use the antiquated metal fetascope and claim they can hear the fetal heart from time to time.

I brought the portable ultrasound machine to the lady’s bedside. She had a scar on her belly they told me was from a c section her last pregnancy performed for an unknown reason. She had had no prenatal care this time around. I placed the probe on her belly and searched. I searched and searched, and I simply could not find this baby. Her belly was large but upon both feel and ultrasound I just could not find that baby. I saw a fleshy mass in her lower abdomen and bowel in her upper abdomen.  Her belly was distended, tender on palpation, and without a smooth normal gravid uterus feel nor the knobby body parts I am used to on uterine ruptures. Her cervix was a centimeter dilated and a little bloody tinged fluid came out. She was certainly in pain but still able to walk and talk. 

So I ordered a hemoglobin which was 10 and a urine bcg (pregnancy test) which was negative. I figured whatever was wrong in her belly could wait until morning to be cut open.

The next morning Danae felt her, ultrasounded her, and had a strong suspicion of what was going on. I was shocked. Thankfully she let me be a part of the discovery in the OR.

She sliced through the old scar and opened into the peritoneum, and there I saw fetal parts. Sure enough, she pulled out of a the abdomen a long dead full-term appearing baby which had been growing outside her uterus during her pregnancy until some day a week or more ago when it died. Since it was not inside the uterus it had no way of escape and stayed, putrefying, inside her abdomen. Danae explained to me later that the fetal bones get too mushy to be well seen on ultrasound and somehow the bcg drops enough since the baby is dead that the pregnancy test becomes negative.

Negative is how I felt our first night back in Chad after coming back from our honeymoon. I wasn’t negative about being back in Chad since we have peace this is where God wants us for now. I was negative that our kitten and bunny had been accidentally locked in the house by the person we asked to care for them. Around midnight we arrived back to our house here in Bere, to be together for the first time in our home as a newly married couple. The door was locked and our keys were inside. So we had no choice but to cut open one of our screen windows and climb inside. The putrid smell of death punched us in the noses, and we could not stand to stay inside. So we grabbed my backpacking tent and set it outside and slept our first night back in Bere under the light of the moon.

Often it is in that same light that Gabriel builds a fire for the sheep. They started to get runny noses in the “cold season” which means lows to the 60s at night. During the summer we took care of Peanut, one of the other missionary’s sheep. Since Gabriel is a pastor, he thought to increase his pastoral skills by having his own flock. Over the course of a few weeks this summer he collected companions for Peanut - Butter, And, Jelly, Sandwich. Then this fall, he added little Carob. 

Sometimes we took them on walks, to the chagrin of all the locals who had never seen a white person walk a sheep before. The Arabs passing with their flocks of over a hundred livestock were also amused. We have thought fleetingly of starting a wool sweater company or making sheep cheese to sell to the volunteers, but we end up just enjoying watching them graze peacefully or running wildly around the compound at night as we chase them into their pen.

One night became a little more wild than we were hoping for towards the end of rainy season this fall. Gabriel looked for diverse ways to cheer me up during the troublesome times we had. He filled the tires of two bicycles the Netteburgs were kind to let us borrow. So one Sabbath afternoon we headed out on a biking adventure. We took off toward the forest and after passing through decided to loop back to the hospital by trying to catch the main road. 

I took pictures and short videos of us riding together with the sun setting over the African plains. It was a classic moment, and we felt like real missionaries in Africa. To loop around we started into the fields. Unfortunately, however, the fields were rice fields that unlike before were now submerged in water. So eventually we were riding in a few inches of water that quickly became over a foot of water and then water up to our knees. With that much water and uneven indiscernable ground underneath, we were forced off our bikes. Onward we trudged through the fields with the sun slipping down into the horizon. We remembered that the road had been much closer before than this time but we felt the direction was correct so continued. 

Darkness soon overtook us and we pulled out our headlamps. Visions of the various snake-bitten patients I had taken care of floated through my head. I became more and more nervous realizing we were completely lost and wandering in the darkness of the African bush.

Panic occasionally squeezed my heart, but Gabriel stayed strong and kept leading us based on directions from the angles of us with the moon and where the sun had disappeared. We saw no signs of houses or people but we cried out to God for help, praying constantly.

Finally we saw some mud houses and fires in the distance. Excitedly we emerged from the fields and approached a woman who we demanded which direction was Bere. With the fire glowing in the background, a small boy walked up to Gabriel with his hands outstretched in front of him as in a trance. He reached Gabriel and stared up at him wide-eyed. Either he thought Gabriel was Jesus or just had never seen a white person before.

When we reached the main road we looked for the hospital that we were sure was nearby. But to our dismay we realized we were actually in the next town over. So we hopped on our bikes again and pedaled in the direction of the moon. 

That is, until the pedal on Gabriel’s bike broke. One pedal continued to turn but the other hung down sadly. He tried to hop with the bike and the one working pedal, but it looked ridiculous and was way too much work, so we gave up with that and hobbled home.

Though our life here is challenging and often crazy, God’s providence for us is just as sure here as the nightly visit of the moon. 

“To him that made great lights; For his lovingkindness endureth for ever: The sun to rule by day; For his lovingkindness endureth for ever; The moon and stars to rule by night; For his lovingkindness endureth for ever:”

Psalms 136:7-9 

Our first two months of married life have been sweet and we are so grateful for the love and support of our family and friends.